Hayden Panettiere Does Your Body Good

I was feeling down today. Yes, even I, the great Milkshake Dictator, can get a case of the old grumpies. I think it was because I stole some candy from the toddler out back, but it turned out to be a Mars Bar. Seriously, a Mars Bar.



Ugh, freakin' kids. Anyway, I was blue, but that was only until I opened my email and was greeted by none-other than Hayden Panettiere. Oh, yes, both from her new Details Magazine bikini shoot and pics from the Enterouge premier. Hot damn, my world was suddenly filled with rainbows and sunshine and drunk-anything-goes-chicks again. I honestly think Hayden can cure any issue. World War? Add some Hayden.



Homeless problem? Here, take a charity donation of Hayden. Global Warming? Make it hotter with Hayden... Actually, I don't think that would help. Still, it would be one hell of a way to go out. Boo yah!


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Monica Cruz in a bikini

Penelope Cruz's sister Monica was spotted vacationing in Ibiza on Thursday, and I can't help but wonder, who's the more famous Cruz sister? And I know what you're thinking "C'mon, Penelope dated Tom Cruise and was up for an Oscar." True, but on the same token, Monica is on this site and in a bikini. So it's basically a toss-up.



In fact, not even NASA knows for certain and, on a related note, have threatened to launch me into space if I keep asking. Which, jokes on them, was my plan all along. I'm gonna bang a moon-maid!


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